When an airplane engineer needs a now job and tries to design a hotel, this happens. The bathrooms are so small you can hardly open the door. Go back to plane city where you belong.
"Hey, this guy doesn't have the "help me" sign on his door. We can't help him. I know he is screaming for help, but the sign is not here, see? No "Help me" sign, let's go on"
We don't have enough money to fill all the cabinets with crap so we are making fake cabinets. They look good and people will think we are luxurious and wealthy.
We have a new service at the hotel: instant coffee in your sink. Ok, I'll tell you the truth: Brian is an idiot that dropped a whole sack of coffee in the water supply. Enjoy your stay!
What a lovely hotel. Imagine that you leave your luggage on the floor, open the window take a deep breath and look at the swimming pool and you see… What is that? Is that a…?
Oh, now THIS IS HOW HORROR MOVIES BEGIN. Is there anyway you can give negative stars to a hotel? Because I think this one deserves minus thirty stars. Or maybe fifty.
We told you that the hotel has a pool, but that doesn't mean that the pool can be used. We tried to covered it with toilets.. Shut your curtains and enjoy.
Ok, sorry for the inconvenience, but I think I will pay for my entire stay and leave. I prefer to sleep in the train station, ok? Have a nice life. Bye.
This isn't even funny, i think I peed on my pants just by looking at this picture, imagine walking into the bathroom and finding this guy looking at you (and that's the best of the cases)
I must have fainted and woke up like ten years after I left my car in this hotel's parking. If i had that money I would buy a house to spend the night and then burn it down.
This look like a sign in one of those awful dystopian movies. I'm paying you, dude! I can do whatever I want. This is not my mom's house, I saved like a year to come here.
A "Don't smoke" ashtray! How clever, this is like reverse psychology. I'm sure this hotel also offers a don't eat burger, a don't drink whisky and a don't shoot gun.
If you go to the Swimming Poll you will be asked about how do you swim, what type of tiles do you prefer, if you like blue or green pools, the prefered depths and that kind of stuff.
This room has two twin beds, meaning that the ones that are staying there are probably not a couple, so why on earth does that have A TRANSPARENT BATHROOM WALL? It is ridiculous.
I don't know what the hell was that supposed to mean but this is funny. I wonder what hotel has dinosaurs hanging around, I want to go to that hotel right away.
These guys turn on the lights of their hotel room and looked up. That looks like a pair of… Maybe I'm too obsessed, but tell me you also see this, it looks like a pair of…lady parts.
This is what happens when you study architecture in a Seven Eleven. You were supposed to leave room for the vent but you forgot, I'm sure you thought no one would notice.
Vacations are about sharing, ok? And this hotel wants to force you to share with the ones you love even when you are at the bathroom. There's no excuse, just share!
This guy wanted to save money, so he decided to use only one door for the closet and the bathroom, I'm sure this way he saved tons of money, he must be a millionaire now.
Let's face it, this is probably where all the suggestions go in all hotels, at least they are being honest and saving time so they can keep being a shitty hotel.
It's nice to get gifts from the Hotel you are staying at, especially because you pay a million dollars for the service, but they don't have to be so generous, that box looks expensive.
You must have suspected a little when you saw the curtains closed in the advertising image. If the room has incredible views, they will show you the incredible views, trust me.
Our hotel has a lovely sitting area with two comfortable armchairs (with no arms) and a stylish coffee table. You might find it difficult to get there, though. The employee in charge of changing the flowers hate us.
GOING THE DISTANCE
This architect is a criminal. I was imagining myself sitting there minding my business, finishing and having to crawl all the way to where the paper is, doesn't make any sense.
This is the second hotel they made, the first one was "Phuc dis" and it was a huge success. If this is not the greatest hotel name ever, I don't know which one is it.
This is what happens when you let Queen Elsa stay at your hotel and don't give her the proper treat. She gets mad and she freezes everything out. Calm down, Elsa.
"Dear Guests: Sorry for the inconvenience, we messed up the numbers and we are not going to change them, even though doing that would be easier than printing a sign"
They didn't even took the job of taking the "Marshalls" off that stolen shopping cart. It looks like a nice hotel, there's no point in using a stolen cart for the used towels.
Our hotel has amazing views of the Denver Capitol (Ok, the Denver Capitol tip) and it also have amazing views of the place where a gigantic space frog landed and left a mark.
ONE PERSON ROOM
Forget about sharing your room with anyone else than yourself. And no, that's not a snake, that's a belt, I spent three hours screaming because I thought that was the point of this photo.
Didn't you know that blind people need to TOUCH in order to read the Braille language, you stupid moron? Why on earth would you put the sign behind a plexiglass?
How many times have you seen chinese letters decorating a room? Why would you think is weird that in China they decorate rooms with latin letters? They do, and it look awful.
Who needs drugs when you have a carpet that has the same effect? Is it just me or this carpet is moving? The designer of this hotel is a jackass, I have a headache.
Oh, thank you, Canadian friend! I'm going to get my car and GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS AREA, then. But again, thanks for letting me know, you are a sweetheart. MOVE.
Less elevator space means more room space, ok? And to be fair you asked about the sizes of the rooms, not the elevators, we are not cheaters. Take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.
This is offensive. How do you know I'm alone? Maybe I don't want to be disturbed because I'm having a good time with someone else. I'm going to the front desk to ask for some condoms. And then I will inflate them and play while watching Netflix.
A SOCKET INSIDE THE SHOWER
This designer has thought it all! Phones today are mostly waterproof, so why wouldn't you want to charge your phone while in the shower? Brilliant! (And by brilliant I mean STUPID)
Wow, Chinese people are so polite they let you take a whole new life out of their hotels! You are lucky, because I know you've been having a shitty life lately.
A TV FOR ANTS
"Our hotel offers a tv that can be seen from the bed unless you have a pair of binoculars, that are not included in the rate. Ask for your binoculars in the Front Desk or calling 17"
This wasn't so hard to accomplish, Ben! I mean, you write "red" in the red one, "blue" in the blue one and "yellow" in the yellow one. And if you have any doubt just ask.
What am I supposed to do, genious? I would expect a "Don't Panic, everything is ok" sign, not this shit. I'm sure there's another sign near the phone that says "Don't yell in case of fire, dial 17"
Haven't you hear about saving energy? This is what I call being a responsible stingy. You have to talk to the guy next door and ask if he wants to turn on the air conditioner too.
This hotel promoted a full body mirror as a luxury detail. The thing is that this mirror has a certain hidden… hinge. What's behind this mirror? I'm not sure if i want to know.
This guy probably built this hotel with the money he got when he divorced his wife, that was Estonian. She built a hotel too, and it was named "American Asshole Hotel"
When you lie on your resume about your english level and then they ask you to write an entire easy phrase but you have no idea of what you are doing.
This is how a horror movie begins, Brian. Don't even think of spending the night in a place that has a sign that looks written by a serial killer or a 5 years old.
This isn't that bad. I mean, you will never look as bad as you look in the mirror. You will always look like shit no matter what, and look stunning in real life. I guess, I'm confused now.
So this is why the gym looks bigger in the advertising photo. On the bright side, you will never feel alone when you are working out at this hotel's gym.
Who decorated this hotel room? Was it Norman Bates? This painting looks so creepy that I would check-out immediately. Well, if it's very cheap I think I can handle it.
I don't know why are you complaining, this is a safety thing! What would happen if you are in the shower and a fire starts in the bathroom? You will thank us later.