A DAD MUST BE A HAIRDRESSER
Being a dad sometimes means being a hairdresser. And sometimes you don't have the skills or the tools to do it right. This guy was clever, though, let's give him that credit.
I feel you, kid. You are me, and that door is everything I want to achieve and the crib is life, anxiety and depression. They should put some polish in that baby's belly and kill two birds with a shot.
A DAD SHOULD WORK TO PROVIDE
Sometimes business is hard and you have to work till late. You can now do it in bed and use your baby as a mousepad… or should I say… Mousebaby?
A DAD HAS TO GO FOR GROCERIES
Where we are going we don't need shopping carts. And kids must stay very very still. When it is time for dad to do the shopping you can't expect cleverness.
A DAD MUST GO TO THE PARK
The girl is like "WTF Dad? Are you really going to walk me through the park with a leash like a dog?" And the answer is Yes, sweetie, If you keep running away there's no other solution.
DADS MUST MAKE THEIR CHILDREN HAPPY
I'm not trying to be stereotypical in here, but let's face it: Men are terrible at dressing up. And even worse when it comes to dress up their kids. She looks quite happy, though. And I don't know if you noticed but his shirt says Mermaid Assistant, which is kinda cute.
DADS MUST BRING MONEY TO THEIR HOMES
I think we need to talk about numbers before judging this guy. How much cash? How many beers? What kind of meat? Only knowing that we can know how much of a jackass he is. And let's not forget about the detail that he was the one who called the cops.
DADS MUST PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN
He took the common phrase "I'll protect you with my whole body" quite seriously. Baby is ok, people. Move on, I'm just resting my legs, Do you know what it feels to carry a child in my back all day?
A DAD MUST HELP HIS CHILDREN TO HAVE INCREDIBLE MEMORIES
Hey, if I pay to visit the zoo when it's even snowing at least I want my kid to feed the raccoons, ok? So get those bloody raccoons and bring them near the fence, I'll just grab my son's legs.
A DAD MUST FIND SOLUTIONS
He can't buy a car. He is not like a… millionaire. So what do you want him to do? He needs to take his kid from one side of town to another and he can't fly or just teletransport. Name me a better solution. I prefer this to having my dad's crack on my face.
A DAD MUST KEEP EVERYTHING IN PLACE
When your nanny cancels and you have an important dinner. He will be there when you return. You can also stick a glass of water with a straw near him, let's not be cruel. It was a joke, I'm sure this counts as a violation of Children's rights.
A DAD MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER HE WAS ONCE A KID
We need to test this swimming pool, kids. It can be very dangerous and we want you to be safe. So go grab some beers for the guys and I and put my music on.
A DAD MUST INTERPRET HIS CHILDREN NEEDS.
Imagine walking into a room and finding out that your husband bought a snake and put it over your little baby. I would scream so loud they would hear me in Africa.
A DAD CAN BE A FAMOUS SINGER TOO
Let's start by saying that this kid's name is Blanket. With that said, I wonder why Michael did this. I mean he was covering his son face with a… well, with a blanket. It's an insane irony.
A DAD MUST DEAL WITH HIS CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE SICK
This is a good way to get rid of baby colds. You put your toddler in the microwave, select the defrosting option, close the door and put it to work. Just kidding, don't try this at home.
A DAD MUST KEEP HIS CHILDREN ALIVE
She didn't get electrocuted so it seems that this sign is lying. Daddy is busy pretending he doesn't know someone is taking him a photo, it's like a thing on instagram.
A DAD MUST LEAD HIS KIDS TO SUCCESS
He looks like he is meditating about life, "Look at all the things I have achieved. I was born in the bottom and crawl all the way to the top. My father would be proud of me if he wasn't right there taking me a picture in this Ferrari that doesn't belong to us".
A DAD MUST TRY DO GOOD THINGS ALL THE TIME
The little baby looks fine but the father seems a little bit annoyed with that photograph being taken. So I'm sure he is doing something wrong and he knows it.
A DAD MUST BE PRUDENT
You are not funny, dad. You were never funny and you will never be funny. Stop putting me in funny places because I will someday get revenge and confine you to a geriatric.
IF THE KIDS DON’T WANT TO TAKE A BATH, A DAD MUST FIND A SOLUTION
Your kids don't want to take a shower? That's easy to resolve. Just put them in the washing machine. They'll have fun while they spin and they will come out cleaner than ever. No. Someone please help these two girls. Call Children Services.
A DAD MUST KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO
"Hey dad, can I have a lolly?" *five seconds later* "Hey dad, can I have a lolly?" If you always say yes, this is what will happen. Please don't hit the break too hard.
A DAD MUST MAKE HARD DECISIONS
Let's play a game. Imagine that your kid is being eaten by a camel. You: a ) Run immediately to save him. b ) You laugh. c ) You take a photo. If your answer is either a or b I'm calling the police.
A DAD MUST ALWAYS STAY ON HIS FEET
All I ask is that this guy never falls. If you have the money to go skiing with your whole family, you have the money to pay a daycare, you bastard.
A DAD MUST BE AWARE OF ALL THE LATEST PARENTING TRENDS
That thing reminds me of a guy that I used to know a few years ago. Two thousand years ago, to be more specific. That's not cool, dad, I think vasectomy is a better choice.
A DAD MUST CLEAN THE HOUSE
If you don't reach difficult spots of your house to get rid of spider webs and dust, you can use your kid to do it. Or you can hire a cleaning lady, but that's too expensive.
A DAD MUST TEACH HIS KIDS ABOUT TECHNOLOGY
You probably think that he is a jackass, but that dude's kid is going to use a computer like he uses his own body. He will be the Bill Gates of the new era.
A DAD MUST GIVE TOOLS TO LIVE IN A HARD WORLD
So, you want candies? Here's the deal: You can have as many candies as you want if you pay them yourself. Here's a cardboard and here's some sharpies, do what you must.
A DAD MUST TEACH HIS KIDS ABOUT CARING FOR OTHERS
I don't know if he was thirsty or if he needed to refresh himself, all I want to know is: Where are the fishes? Are they ok? Answer that question and I will pretend that nothing happened.
A DAD MUST ALSO TEACH ABOUT FRATERNITY AND LOVE
Hey dad, look! I think Daisy is trying to kill Emily. Hey, Dad! Dad! Ok, fine, let's take the picture first, but then go save Emily because your other daughter is a psycho.
A DAD MUST TEACH EVERYTHING HE KNOWS
Ok, let's be fair: He probably doesn't know and won't remember what he is looking at. And he has seen boobs, he feeds from one. Sorry, I can't justify this, is horrible.
A FATHER MUST ACCOMPANY EACH STAGE OF GROWTH
How did he get there? He was probably in the middle of potty training. Being a dad doesn't mean knowing it all, so you can fail at potty training, it's ok.
A DAD MUST HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
Fathers can be very bad at texting, and they probably won't understand your jokes. Keep it simple, keep it real. And stop being such a jerk, Timothy, he is your dad.
A DAD ALWAYS WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR HIS “KIDS”
This guy put an ad in the newspaper to search a wife for his son. His son, that is 48 years old. FORTY EIGHT YEARS OLD. He even has gray hair. That's being a dad forever.
A COMFY BED
This is what happens when your wife asks you to take care of your kid while she is minding her own business and you need to work in your warehouse.
A DAD MUST TEACH SCIENCE TO HIS KIDS
That hair! I'm sure this is not dangerous, he looks like he is having fun. And she probably don't understand what is happening. I need to go to this place.
A DAD MUST LOVE HIS KIDS NO MATTER WHAT
This guy thought his children were ugly. So he sued his wife. AND WON. The wife had to admit she did some plastic surgery and she had to pay a fortune to her now ex husband. Best dad ever.
A DAD MUST AVOID FIGHTS
When you are tired of your kids fights (and they fight a lot, about everything) there's nothing better than just relax and take a picture. They will work it out by themselves eventually.
A DAD IS ALWAYS PREPARED
She looks so happy with her helmet! This is actually clever, especially when you must spend the whole day out. There's no time to feed your kids when you are having fun.
A DAD MUST SET BOUNDARIES
A dad can be a cool dad too. But there must be limits. He is kinda right, though, why the hell are you going to that party? Are you the designated adult?
FAMOUS DADS CAN BE BAD AT PARENTING TOO
Ryan Reynolds is a funny guy. He always makes fun of his wife and his daughter. I like to think that all his tweets about his parenting skills are true, and that he is a wonderful guy.
A DAD MUST EAT TO BE STRONG
A dad's gotta eat. And when this is the only way your baby falls sleeps then this is the only way this poor guy can eat. Billionaire idea: A fake arm to lay babies on.
HE MUST STICK TO THE RULES
When mom says the kids should go to bed, dad and the kids must obey. What momma didn't say is that the bed should stay in the bedroom. You gotta be more specific, mom.
A DAD MUST TAKE HIS CHILDREN WHEREVER THEY NEED TO GO
I don't know why that kid is so sad if her dad is cracking her up. Poor guy, those pants won't stay up and he must take his girl to ballet lessons, we should not be so judgemental!
A DAD REMAINS YOUNG
This one is confusing. I don't know if the father wanted to have fun and dressed the little fellow as a grown up man or if the dad is actually Benjamin Button.
SOMETIMES DADS NEED TO BE PARENTED
This little guy finally put his dad to sleep and he looks like he can relax now. He is looking at his mom like "It was tough but I did it. Let's drink a bottle of wine and watch The X Factor"
PARENTING LEAVES AN ETERNAL MARK
I have a lot of questions, and all of them can be summarized in only one: WHY? Whether if it is the biggest hickey in the world or a broken nose that game is gonna leave a mark.
A DAD MUST BE A GOOD STYLIST
You know what, mom? If you want your kid to wear normal not-so-shiny clothes, then you should go to the mall and buy the clothes yourself. Dad is doing what he can.
A DAD SHOULD ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION
Kids have energy. A lot of energy. And a dad sometimes needs to take a break while he deals with some work issues. Pigeons can be good babysitters, or that's what I heard.
A DAD MUST BE RESOURCEFUL
I'm not sure if this is more creepy than it is clever, but it is definitely clever. When mom's not around and there's no nipples available, this is a good trick. I think.
A DAD MUST MAKE HIS CHILD HAPPY
If your kid wants to stick her arm into your mouth, you must let your daughter stick her arm into your mouth. There's nothing more delicious than cake directly from a baby's hand.