Problems Only Pale People Will Understand
Pale skin. A lot of people covet that skin tone. When you see a little girl with pale skin wearing a dress you think she looks just like a china doll, she is so adorable. Adorable she may be as a little girl, that girl will grow up and will be faced with the struggles that entail having pale skin.
If you ask a pale person what the best thing about being pale is, they will struggle to find an answer. But ask them what the downsides are, and you will not be able to shut them up. Here's why.
What was the first thing you noticed about this picture? The girl in the bikini enjoying the sun, right? Well, look again. One of the problems with being pale is that people will see you only if they know to look for you.
You are really pale when placed against a dark background, your skin glows.Just look at this girl's feet on the black sand. They are glowing so much, they look extraterrestrial.
Another downside of being pale is that you can't take pictures with the flash on. The light of the flash reflects your pale face and makes it disappear. You have to resign yourself to being dark in every picture.
No, people, I am not sick. This is just how my skin looks like on a daily basis. Not only do you have to deal with the hurdles of being pale every day, but also, when someone who doesn't know you sees you, they always ask if you are sick.
You want people to stop asking if you are sick, so you will put on some makeup. But wait! There is no shade of makeup that won't make you look like a clown. What now?
You know you are pale when you do a face swap with a black and white picture and there is no notable difference from your real skin. You just look a little emo with the dark lips.
When you are pale, you are bound to live constantly disappointed. You look at your arm and think, finally! I am getting a tan. Until you realize you had your sunglasses on.
And when you do get a tan, something you have spent all summer working towards, nobody believes you. Why? Because when you are tan, it looks like everyone else when they are pale.
AT THE BEACH
Another thing you have to deal with when you are pale is that you can't actually lie down and get some sun. You need sunscreen. But sunscreen alone is not enough. If the sun is particularly strong, you need to cover yourself so as not to fry.
You also have to be very careful about the makeup you use. If not, you could have this girl's problem. When taking a selfie with her cat, she closed her eyes. The result, she looks like a corpse.
Again, when you manage to get a tan, nobody believes you. How can you prove it to them? Show them your lily white skin where the sun never touched it.
When you are pale, you can't just wake up, get dressed and leave. You need to take steps before you leave your house. One of them? You have to put on a hat. The bigger, the better.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to be careful what you use as a background when you edit your pictures. If you are pale, you can have this girl's problem, where the computer doesn't know if it is skin or cloud.
This is how a pale person feels like when everyone is back from summer vacation. It doesn't matter if this is the year you managed to finally get a tan. You will always be pale in comparison.
AT THE BEACH II
This comic is a perfect representation of what going to the beach means to a pale person. Non-pale people can do whatever they want. Pale people have to find shade or cover up and fry under the rays of the sun.
Clothing is another big problem. Nude tights never match. It doesn't matter how light they are. There is no nude shade of tights that compares to pale skin. You are bound to be mismatched.
On the flip side, when you are pale, you don't need to wear light tights. But oh, wait. Everyone will ask you where you bought the tights you are wearing because the can't find that shade. And you have to keep answering that they are actually your legs.
Every summer you work towards you tan. But, in reality, that is just a pipe dream. Most times in their life, pale people will fail to get a tan. What they will do get is red as a lobster.
It is one thing to decide to stop using flash on your personal pictures. But when you go get your driver's license, you don't have a choice about the picture. The result for pale people? You fade into the background.
But hey! It is not all downsides. When Halloween comes around you have half your costume already figured out. You will be something dead, obviously. The pale part is already covered.
It is hard to wear a bikini when you are pale. Your arms and torso see some sun during the year, so they are not as pale as the rest of your body. But your abdomen is always covered. So the difference can be jarring.
I have a silver lining for the pale people around. If you ever lose power in your house, just put on a swimsuit. Your white skin will reflect the light. No need for flashlights, right?
It appears that makeup companies are either unaware of or avoiding the fact that pale people exist. Why? Because the lightest shade of makeup they sell is still too dark for pale people skin.
It's a good thing that these two body parts are separated by practically the whole body. Otherwise, it would be a real wake up call. Dental health is important everyone!
Poor pale girl. Someone went to the trouble of taking a Polaroid picture of her and you can't see her face. That is why taking pictures as a pale person is a whole production.
How pale must you be to be mocked by your coworkers? In this picture, the girl's coworkers drew a picture of her on the whiteboard. Where is the rest of her you ask? They said she's so pale, she blends with the white of the board.
Another downside of being pale is that every little mark shows on your skin. If you have an itch, and you scratch with some degree of force, your skin will look like you have a skin condition instead of just an itch.
Do you want to figure out if you are actually pale? Take a picture of yourself and apply a black and white filter on it. Do you see a difference? No? Then congratulations! You are pale.
When you are pale, getting a tan is so difficult it can become impossible. One way to fake it is, of course, getting a fake tan. But be careful when it starts to disappear you will have to go on sick leave so as not to look like this picture.
When you are pale, you have a love-hate relationship with the sun. You want to be friends. But you know, the moment you look the other way, the sun will screw you over.
Not only is finding a shade of makeup fit for a pale person practically impossible. When you actually find one and you look at the name of that shade you find yourself with names like these.
If a pale person is shown on TV but you can't tell who it is, did they appear on TV at all? Like in this case. I'm sure that the real person knows it is them. But I wouldn't be able to recognize them.
Not only is makeup for pale people practically impossible to find, you also have to be careful with lipstick shades. You may be dying to buy that beautiful red lipstick. But be careful, there is a real chance you will look like a clown.
It is a real dichotomy to be pale and love summer. You find winter depressing and you can't wait until the summer finally arrives until you remember why the summer is also not for you.
Here is more proof of the hurdles pale people have to overcome. You must put sunscreen on before leaving your house or you run the risk of ending like this girl. With tan lines everywhere.
Then again, when you have to dress up in costume, you usually have an idea already about what you will be. If you are pale enough, you can dress as a skeleton. Good news! You don't need to buy white paint.
Do you want to know what else is a bummer about being pale? You spend a fortune on sun-related products. Not only sunscreen or sunblock. You also need aloe vera gels for when you get sunburned. You need face cream with a high SPF factor too. It all costs money.
Aren't you tired of being the butt of every pale joke? How many times have your friends pretended you are not there because you blend with the wall? This is another fact of life as a pale person.
Is it not enough to have acne? Why can't you find a foundation that works for your pale skin? Just look at this picture. The shade of the foundation is supposed to be porcelain. Are you joking? What does it have that is porcelain-like?
Another downside of paleness (how many is it by now?) is that every little bruise shows on your skin. It also takes a lot longer to disappear. You dread having to get some blood drawn because you know it will leave a mark.
Another step pale people have to take before they can brave the streets is to slather themselves in sunscreen. Because they know that if even a little space of skin is left bare, it will undoubtedly burn.
Pale people also have to be careful about where they sit when they are outside. They have to be very conscious about the shadows because, if not, something like this can happen to them.
Another thing pale people have to deal with is the fact that their skin matches whatever white fabric they are wearing. In this case, the white stripes on this girl's shirt are the same shade as her skin.
This Cards Against Humanity card knows what it is like to be a pale person during the summer. The good thing is that, as you are so pale, the white of the sunscreen is hard to separate from your skin.
Finally! A foundation that works for pale people! If only, right? This is just another example of the makeup companies' war against pale people. Don't worry. They will not defeat us!
Yes, I know I am pale. I see it every time I look into the mirror. I need people to start pointing that out. Excuse me. I am not pale. My skin is like porcelain.
Have you ever wondered if you are adopted? Why? Because when you stand next to your mother you have to ask yourself where did your paleness come from. Because mom is tan and you are white.
FLOWER CROWN FILTER
Instagram filters are all the rage right now. One of the more popular ones is the flower crown filter. But what happens when you are too pale to use it? This.
No, this girl is not naked. She is just wearing a white shirt. The problem is that she is so pale that you can hardly see the place where her arm stops and the sleeve of the shirt begins.
Finally, the last downside I have to tell you about being pale is that your entire circulatory system is visible. Pale skin is sometimes almost see through. As a consequence, your veins are visible.