Now Hiring Spaghetti
We have good news! If you know of any spaghettis that are on the look for a job or wanting to get some experience in the work field, Julie's Family Restaurant is now hiring! Or maybe they're hiring people and serving spaghetti, we have no way of telling.
People Are Eating Children In This Area
This is outrageous and disgusting! People are eating children and no one's doing anything about it! In fact, they're encouraging you to leave them alone while they do it! And then they have the nerve to ask you to clean after them!
Give Cyclists Space
We love this whole 'give cyclists space' idea, we're totally up for it. We wonder if they couldn't think of a better way to advertise this, though. It doesn't look like they're giving cyclists much space, to begin with.
But What Do You Mean?
The sign says 'do not enter', so we guess we have to look for a different entrance to access this place. No big deal. But then we notice that the same sign says 'entrance only'. So what are we supposed to do?
Terms And Conditions
St. Mark's Anglican Church has got a great sense of humor, we'll tell you that. They saw the chance and took it. If you never read Apple's Terms and Conditions, don't feel bad: Adam and Eve didn't either, and it didn't work out that bad for them now, did it?
Here this sign is giving us some solid advice about family planning. It recommends we don't have over 20 children. Thank you, Mr. Sign, we didn't want that many kids anyway.
Get 0 Free
This supermarket has the best deals. If you want three products of equal or lesser value, you get 0 free! That's right: buy 3 and pay all 3, you get 0 for free! We told you these deals were unbelievable!
Here we show you another great discount. If you want to save some money for that nice vacation in the caribbean you've been dreaming of, then you have to shop at this place. You get full price and save $0. Amazing!
Drink, It’s Good For Your Friends
This sign here has some valid points to make: if you don't drink at 2 am in the morning, how will your friends have the pleasure to get a text from you saying you love them at such inappropriate hours? Take one for the team, do it for your friends!
What Do I Do If I’m Stolen?
Some of the best sign fails happen because people rely on internet translators instead of hiring a human one. Make sure you call the police if someone steals you. If someone steals from you, we recommend you call the police as well.
The elevator is out for service. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Perhaps you would like to use the elevator instead? We really can't understand what they had in mind when they put up this sign.
That’s What We Call A Good Discount
We were complaining about supermarkets that don't offer good deals before, but now we have to show you a store that offers a deal so good we're sure they made a mistake with that sign.
Something Doesn’t Add Up
If you shop at this store, you save half: you can buy something that's worth $30 for only $10! What do you mean 20 is not half? We're sure they did the math before they put the sign up!
5 Minute Limit
If you have to get surgery at this clinic, you have free parking but it's only valid for 5 minutes since everyone knows surgery is something you do real quickly during your lunch hour if you have 5 minutes to spare, no big deal.
What do you do if you need help? You have two options: you can either press the red button or yell. We recommend yelling, they say it's good exercise for your lungs!
This sign is actually hilarious. We don't know how they came up with the idea, but people will think twice before shoplifting from this place. Unless, of course, they want the free ride in a police car they're advertising.
No More Ask Please
We'd love to hear the story behind this sign. How does a Chinese restaurant end up putting up a sign asking someone to stop making inquiries about their cat's whereabouts?
Harm Your Neighborhood Grocer
Those lights need replacing, we tell you. That is not the kind of message you want to give the community! Harm your neighborhood grocer? That's not nice, guys! Not nice at all.
You Don’t Say...
OK, that sounds logical, right? The other option would be breaking and entering, and we're not sure that would be exactly legal. We'd rather come back later when the doors are open.
Stop Bothering, Nancy
We'd love to hear the story of how these people decide to put up a sign clarifying that there are no student jobs available, and yes, Nancy, that includes you, stop asking! Poor Nancy, we feel for her!
Well, This Sure Is Relaxing
If you are afraid of flying, we don't recommend you read this sign. Apparently, the pilot is not having a great time either, so perhaps we should all try and look relaxed to make him feel more comfortable. Our lives may depend on it!
Not All Changes Are Good
Someone asked their employee to change the sign outside, but has no one told them not all changes are good? This gives away that the people working there are not the sharpest tools on the shelf!
All The Way Bad
Forget TripAdvisor and those websites where you can leave a review after your stay at a hotel. Find a marker and let everyone know just how bad it was. However, the warning may come too late: if they're seeing this, then they've already rented the room.
This wrong way sign could not be worse. We mean it. Even if they tried, even if they put all their effort into it, nothing they did could make this worse than it actually is. It's so wrong it's right.
We don't know if someone made a terrible mistake or if this sign was put up there on purpose because they thought it'd be funny. Either way, this is so wrong and so rude, we can't believe no one's taken it down yet!
This company will not take any responsibility if you cut yourself, if you bruise yourself, if you lose your property or if you turn up dead. It's all on you, folks. It sure is reassuring!
Tiny Grass Is Dreaming
Another case of bad translation, although this time we can't say we don't love the result. If you never imagined grass as tiny, sleeping fairies then after reading this sign you won't be able to stop picturing it as just that.
We’re Sorry We’re Open
Oh, look! That store is open! But what are they saying sorry for? Is the attention so bad they have to apologize for being open? It sure doesn't make you want to shop there!
Something’s Not Right Here
This place says it's always open, that's great. But then you go and you find out it says it's closed? How is that possible? What on earth is happening with these people?
Wine And Cheese For Breakfast
We're not here to judge anyone, but we're sure there's something really wrong with this supermarket sign. Unless they want people to start considering wine, beer, and cheese as a breakfast food.
Something very bad is going on if this supermarket is selling fried children. We have no idea what happened here, but we guess someone was not paying attention when they labeled this stuff.
We don't want to know what's the story behind this particular sign, but something must have happened if the employees at this store feel the need to clarify that cat milk does not come from cats.
No, Thank You
A mouthful of red onions? No, thank you! We don't know why they're advertising that, but we can't think of a reason why people would want to eat a mouthful of that!
These look like fantastic, very delicious snacks. Because that what they're called, you know? Snacks. According to this store, however, some may refer to them as 'people treats'. Maybe this picture comes from an alternate reality where dogs and cats have us as pets.
This is not a nice label! What are we calling us idiots for? What have we done to you? Or why are we trying to sell fresh idiots? Either way, this is not good manners!
Roasted Monkey Nuts
If you're hungry and you want to snack on something between meals, we recommend you buy roasted monkey nuts. It doesn't sound like something anyone would enjoy eating, but we firmly believe it's just a bag of peanuts that has been labeled incorrectly.
No Smoking Unless You’re On Fire
This place doesn't allow smoking, and that's totally fine. But apparently, you can have a smoke there if you're on fire. Imagine that! You won't need a lighter or anything, you can lit the cigarette with the very same flames that are consuming you!
Video Cameras Not Monitored
The warning sounds very serious and of course, we wouldn't want to risk getting into trouble by parking there. Oh, no, no. But why are you letting us know the video cameras are unsupervised? It sounds as if you actually wanted people to park where they shouldn't!
In case of fire, we recommend you shout fire. If shouting fire to the top of your lungs doesn't help to put it out, maybe you should phone the authorities, see what they can do about that.
Why Is Adam So Angry?
We don't know who Adam is. We don't know why he is angry. But this warning sign recommends we take shelter and avoid lighting, and we wouldn't want to make Adam get any angrier.
Be Aware of Invisibility
We would really love to be aware of invisibility. We don't know what for, but if the sign is telling us we should then surely there are good reasons. The problem is: how we will know something's there if it's invisible?
Do Not Stand On The Turtle
We would love to hear the story about this sign. Who is the turtle? Who is the owner? Is it a real, living, breathing animal? Is it one of those plastic turtles children play with? Why are people standing on it? So many questions!
No Dumping Cats
Dumping animals is wrong, as is animal cruelty. So we are very happy to know there's someplace where it's not allowed. We're pleased to say we don't believe this sign is wrong at all!
The Walking Dead
No, this is not an image from the latest Walking Dead episode (is that show still on?) Apparently someone was feeling funny and decided to warn people about non-existent zombies. We can't say we don't appreciate the sense of humor!
We're not sure what kind of bagels they're selling here, but it looks like they're potentially dangerous and explosive. We wouldn't want anything to blow up, so we better act carefully.
We can't believe such sign exists, but it does! Someone decided tomatoes are a very dangerous fruit and that people should be warned of their proximity. Be cautious, everyone! Dangerous tomatoes are out and about!
You Can’t Take Your Elephant For A Ride
We'd love to know what that sign says. Luckily for us, a picture is worth more than a thousand words. From what we can understand, if you own an elephant (and why shouldn't you?) you can't take it out for a ride in your car. Sorry.
Cats Are Not To Be Trusted
Remember this: do not trust the cats. This is a serious warning, don't laugh at the sign. The cats are not to be trusted. You could be in grave danger. No matter what you do, remember the cats are not trustworthy.
This is a mean sign! How dare you? Laughing at those poor guys because they're late for their job! We have to admit it, though: whoever did that has a wicked sense of humor, and a part of us sort of loves it.
Do Not Sit On Crocodile
We don't understand why someone would need to warn people so they don't sit on a crocodile. We wouldn't dream of doing that! But if someone put that sign, it means some people need reminding!